I figured out my problem
and I’m pretty sure success will follow shortly! OKAY. Now let me preface by saying I work in an office—there’s not much of a dress code per se but more so some de facto guidelines that everyone sticks to—-myself included. Here’s typical Brad on a given work day.
I’M SURE SOME OF YOU SEE THE PROBLEM ALREADY.
Anyways—this weekend Portland was hit pretty hard by Winter. When it snows here, everyone pretty much freaks out—the buses stop running, churches and supermarkets board up the windows—the city just shuts down for a few days until it’s safe again for fixed-gear bicycles. SOMEHOW MY OFFICE DID NOT CLOSE. Which meant I had to walk a mile and half at 6 in the morning to catch a bus on a “snow route.” Knowing that it was way way cold and that most of my coworkers would call in sick anyway, I decided to forsake the dumpy polo and just put on all the warmest clothes I had.
SOMEHOW THIS MADE ME LOOK LIKE THE WORLD’S AWESOMEST TOUGH GUY
LET ME TELL YOU…it’s like night and day in this get-up. I was like “HEY BUS, I’M WAITING TOO LONG FOR YOU” and the bus totally pulled up and was all like “SORRY MAN” and I was all “OH, WHAT?!” and then it just blushed and took me to work all pathetically. THEN I PUNCHED IT IN ITS STUPID BUS FACE.
SO YEAH the confidence is through the roof. I have created a plan for success in the business world. It involves looking good and punching people. This is it:
THAT’S RIGHT BUSINESS WORLD. SUCK MY CRAZY FRESH STYLE.
